eureka!

Over the past several Saturdays I have made a (ritual?) of spending the late nite and early morning hours watching anime on Adult Swim. Aside from growing more and more attracted to the vibe of these shows I’ve also grown particularly fond of this note which appears (classic [as] style, white on black background) before the broadcasting of Eureka 7.


"Just in case that last disclaimer wasn't enough, this episode contains extreme violence.
We would rather run this than cut the violence from the episode because we are American Cowboys."


And I like it because its real. Of late, I've been more aware of, if not more exposed to, the rough and tough American spirit. And I like it. Its growing on me. While I have a lot of beef with particular facets of American morality, that kind of burly, masculine, gung-ho, fu manchu business is pretty rad.

Prime Example: Teddy Brosevelt- our bombastic, energetic cowboy of a 26th president. The Bull Moose was a tough, mustached "Rough Rider", hunted large game (like humans), and was even once shot in the chest and insisted to deliver his scheduled speech (from a torn and bloodstained manuscript nestled in his vest pocket) before visiting the hospital. Although not necessarily the qualities we would want ourselves or our children to take on, his crazy and somewhat legendary characteristics are at least admirable if taken with levity, in a sort of wierd, fun way.

The particular “American spirit” that I speak of encompasses probably more than one attitude, mind-set, feeling, emotion, or personality, and can surface in a variety of situations in various forms and levels of intensity. However, when you experience it, you know it. And recently, it has many times and in many ways made itself known to my conscious mind, sometimes inconspicuously working through the subconscious first, and other times yelling through my eyeballs, electrically demanding immediate attention.

As portrayed in Tom Wolfe's "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" this “American spirit” was embraced by the Merry Pranksters on their cross-country escapades and search for [ ]. ("A search that, I hope, will take me where I'm likely to find it"). Contrary to some of the other enlightenment seekers of the generation, there was something very American about these day-glo crazies, and that no-rules mind-set, the energy of that rough and tough, balls-out attitude, was often the vehicle for their many adventures Furthur into the human experience. Illuminated by Neal Cassady and Ken Kesey- big tough dudes themselves- they put everything "out front" and lived.

The hardcore music scene also tends to attract dudes that are into being tough, being interested in tough stuff, and giving killer bear hugs, because it's all about brodom, fun and rocking out. Oddly enough, the vibe seems often to be rooted in a [wacky?] sense of youthful Southern pride.

Also the word- blunt.

We all know them. And recently, I seem to have become more and more surrounded by them. Whether it be my guitar teacher and his kung-fu disciplinary methods, television's biggest bad-ass Anthony Bourdain, or the main character in Albert Camus' "The Stranger", a person who can demand that kind of honesty from himself is admirable.


or the words- brutal, raw.

Take The Godfather for instance-
How would you feel if you woke up, covered in horse's blood, in it, wet, with la cabeza,
lying,
eyes gaping,
at your feet?

Or recently, The Departed-
And who knew when that
elevator opened
not just one
or two
but three!
shots would fire?
in a fragment of time the entire world of that movie was flipped upside down.

Why such violence is so compelling I can't be sure, but I think it has something to do with a light-hearted understanding of the rough and tough American spirit, or the rough and tough Human spirit.

But, like anything else it's always best in moderation. Because sometimes, I like being a monk too.

space, grier, and living

About a week ago my friend decided to free himself. This was what he had to say:


this is goodbye - March 8, 2007 6:06 PM

I, MR. Mottram, am leaving myspace. I have found that nothing good comes out of myspace. Myspace users will soon find better things to do than to spend hours at a time on the computer - which simply is wasting time. And when that time comes, myspace will be left with nothing; quite the thing it deserves since it gave us, the people, nothing. We have to learn what to do with our time, and with that, step up to the plate. Think on it. Respect your time with caution. You will soon see. Goodbye lingerers.


Earlier that same day the school superintendent Mr. Moloch ("What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?") visited our facility, stirred up a bit of a ruckus, and I must admit had me feeling pretty politically charged. So I was prompted to respond to my brotherman’s bulletin and here is the content of that post sans a few "well done sir"s:


RE: this is goodbye - March 8, 2007 8:15 PM

and perhaps hello?

adam smith would not approve of your valiant nonconformist dismissal of the system, laissez-faire in reverse you could say, hands-off the evils of this machinery, a wretched machinery whose cogs and wheels are oiled unceasingly by the wasted minutes of the youth, a machinery that manufactures social plague and disease. you my friend, have at least turned your ear away from the monotonous, dangerously mesmerizing hum of this machine, even perhaps loosened a screw, and at best thrown a wrench in the system. i am hopeful as you greet this world now, with open ears, free from the constant ringing, blinding buzz. and that your example may be a thought for the rest of us, for thought unusually usually precedes action, and that we may soon wield our own monkey-wrenches. right or wrong.


This response was half serious-concern, half satirical-rant, but I thought there might be some interesting thoughts and truths among all the machinery-capitalism-half-bologna. And I also believe that wasted time on the computer, particularly myspace, is part, maybe just a small part, but a part nonetheless of what keeps me from getting out there and living [because thats all i (really) want to do]. But, thats a more real discussion for a more real time (later!).

NOTICE

The following comes from a leaf in my moleskin journal inked a while back, but now i hope it might serve as a preface (NOTICE) for this blog:


so much
goes unwritten
...
but hopefully,
someday soon,
the recent states
of mind
and matter
the happenings
the [ ]
will be
transmitted
broadcasted
over various (happy) mediums
live / recorded messages
to be received
and interpreted
by other antennas
(ha, as we lift our skinny fists)


my intent is that this blogspot might serve as one of those (happy) mediums. And while there indeed will be much that goes unwritten, i hope this corner of the web will become an outlet for me to share various thoughts, ideas, rants, writings, polished compositions, spontaneous shouts, pieces of junk, and words that might actually be saying something.

While I approach this endeavor with a mixture of apprehension as well as excitement, hesitation as well as enthusiasm, I hope that I might learn to sing this Song of Myself with the same spirit as Walt Whitman did when he wrote:

"I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every hazard,
Nature without check with original energy."

thank you to those who read, and to those who inspire me to write!

People are cool.
-jm!